Why is being a mom one of the most judged most looked down upon careers in todays world? If you breastfeed you’re showing to much boob if you formula feed you’re hurting your child. If you feed them processed baby food from a jar your a terrible person, but if you make your own you’re a snobby mom. I mean how does any mom feel good enough? I have only been a mom for three years and in those three years I have been put down for every little thing I do with my girls. It took having a baby in NICU and being forced to have to advocate for my child that gave me the clarity to realize I don’t need anyone’s approval. These are my kids and I am their mother! I learned in those weeks that I had a voice and if I wasn’t going to be confident in my decisions for them they wouldn’t ever be confident women themselves.
The first year with Hayden I was paralyzed in fear. I had gone through infertility for five years, I had fought so hard for this child and I wasn’t happy. I was doing what everyone else told me I was supposed to do and it didn’t feel right. Hayden was ten months old before I was diagnosed with Post Partum Anxiety, and the only reason I got that diagnoses was because I almost became one of the 20% that took my own life due to not getting treated for post partum. Getting the help I needed gave me a voice that I had been wanting to find. I went on to nurse Hayden till she was 19 months old and that was after everyone told me I was crazy. I would hear at every family event how gross it was I was still nursing her. Why is that? Why does anybody else think its ok to comment on our bodies? I had fought hard for that child and if she was going to be my only one I wanted to truly experience everything motherhood had to offer!
Kasalina Grace’s pregnancy was a whirlwind and in that time is when I found my voice! When you have no other option but to lean on God you truly find a backbone of steal!
Both of my girls are at home with me 24/7 and when I go anywhere they are with me, I don’t typically do anything without my children. “but when do you get away from them?” If I was the opposite and I left my children all the time to go out by myself I would get criticized on the other end of the spectrum and be called a bad mom. Why? Why do we as a society think its ok to shame moms? I can’t think of one single mom that doesn’t feel some kind of guilt for either leaving their child to go to work or for staying at home with them.
“Will they be adjusted and able to be out in society?”
“Will they be mad im gone so much?”
“Will they be sociable, because all they see is me?”
Being a mom is the hardest job in the world! You will never make everyone happy! And guess what I’ll be the one to say it, SCREW THEM! When you get to those pearly gates I know Jesus isn’t asking if you vaccinated or didn’t, or if you breastfed or didn’t. He will be asking did you love them? Did you lead them to me? Did you show them every single day that they had a father in heaven who would NEVER judge them? Those are the questions to answer.
With this realization came freedom, a freedom to be a mom, a freedom to love my children with abandon. Guess what some days my kids stay in their pajamas all day and we watch tv shows. Other days they are dressed. Guess what 85% of the time my two year old is in just underwear because she had a vendetta against clothes. I live in mom shirts (thank you Angie at Curly Q’s, if you don’t know her find her she is amazing) and I have 3x the amount of yoga pants and sweats than I do jeans and shorts. That’s ok! We are moms! I can guarantee that my two year old could careless if i look like a model or if im in the clothes I wore the day before.
Which on a side note Hayden Renee told me the other that I smelt so I figured it may be time to take a shower. I couldn’t remember the last time I had showered. Both girls had been sick, Kasalina Grace was teething and had her first ear infection and momma slept when there was downtime because I wanted sleep more than a shower. But that is my life. My husband works 50-60 hour weeks and usually gone before the sun rises and doesn’t get home till right at sunset.
I am there mom no-one else is. Guess what momma’s your babies are watching! They see when you second guess yourself or when you back track over what you said yes to because someone else questioned you. They see that, and the will later follow your lead. Be strong momma! Those are your kids! If you want to get them chick-fil-a every dang day for lunch you do that momma!! If you want to make a perfectly balanced meal for your child everyday I am in aw of you and you do that momma! But mom’s always remember you are showing your kids christ in you! Food won’t matter, vaccines wont matter, your story is already written so you need to live it. The only thing that matters to me is my kids see christ.
Now one things thats been on my heart lately and i’ve been struggling with is the guilt of being a stay-at-home-mom. I love it but on the days when my husband gets home and the house is still a wreck and I feel like is no way ill get my head above water. I’ve learned that on those days to take stock of what my kids got to do that day. When it seems like dishes never end, its because I allowed my two year old to help me cook and she had to have her own bowls to mix and her own pan to cook in. On the days it seems like laundry is never ending, its because we are blessed to live on land that allows us to get our clothes incredibly messy!
I guess in all of this rambling im trying to say, mommas be moms don’t worry about what the world thinks of you or is saying about you. BE THEIR MOM. All those people with opinions are not the mom YOU ARE. Don’t ever second guess yourself, don’t allow someone to bully you into changing what you want for your kids! I was and still am a person who allows others to make me feel guilty and I need to read this every single day!
YOU ARE DOING AMAZING! YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!